Mornings sometimes come too early and nap times are fought with fury because a sweet little 6 month old decides to throw her schedule to the wind. Three year olds (who shall remain nameless) sometimes have full-blown meltdowns when they realize the forgot to switch their night time ring to their morning ring (apparently jewelry is particular to the time of day it\u2019s worn). Husbands call mid-day with news that they\u2019ll be home by 9:00\u2026 if they\u2019re lucky. Project coordinators call and let you know it\u2019s probably going to be just a few more days on a project that was slated to last 4 weeks, but has turned into 3 months and counting. The house somehow gets to the point where there are more toys than floor.<\/p>\n
Otherwise known as yesterday<\/em>.<\/p>\n When the going gets tough, I\u2019m sometimes tempted to throw my own tantrum, mock the culprit, pop open some 1pm vino or call up David and ask if he realizes how much I do on a daily basis, but none of those things offer real solutions (minus the wine\u2026). Instead, I take a deep breath and roll through some real solution options:<\/p>\n 1. Take a time out. I\u2019ve been known to put myself in time out. Not only does this confuse the heck out of Hailey, it gives me a second to collect myself and reemerge calm(er). I\u2019ll tell her that \u201cmommy needs some quiet time\u201d (because I have a terrible habit of speaking in third person) and she\u2019s much more likely to quiet down herself than if I try to force her into a time out.<\/p>\n 2. Vent to a friend that gets it. I have so many wonderful friends in all different life stages. When my frustration is kid\/meltdown\/exhaustion\/mundane-ness related, it really helps to cry\/whine\/vent to a friend who knows what it is like to be a stay at home mom to two little ones. Bonus points if her husband travels or works crazy hours too. Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name <\/span>brand of crazy.<\/em><\/p>\n 3. Change the day\u2019s game plan. I was supposed to make grilled halibut for dinner? Scratch it- we\u2019re having popcorn. I need to pick up dry cleaning or other tasks that aren\u2019t urgent? Forget them- we\u2019re playing in the driveway. Anything that isn\u2019t 110% necessary gets postponed to another day and I find that kind of easing up on my to-do list akin to a giant exhale. Little ones don\u2019t understand deadlines, to do lists or schedules and I find that things get most hairy around here when I\u2019m trying to run too tight of a ship.<\/p>\n 4. Enlist the village. I\u2019ll ask a friend to pick Hailey up from school if I\u2019m in a pinch. I\u2019ll hire a neighborhood girl to come over for an hour or two after school. I\u2019ll snag a morning to myself that David has free to be with the girls. And if things get really piled up, I\u2019ll call on Mema or Nana to come pitch in for a couple days. I don\u2019t have family close by and that can be tough, but I remind myself I don\u2019t need to be a martyr. There are solutions if I need more helping hands, I just need to look for them.<\/p>\n I believe I\u2019ve mentioned before that my goal is to parent with patience and kindness. Do I fall short? All the dang time, but having that as my goal gives me perspective. As a mom, I feel the best thing I can do for my kids is to be their safe home base. This doesn\u2019t mean they always get their way, but they need to know I can handle their crazy without flipping out myself.<\/p>\n
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