Hailey and her sister will be born in different seasons. Hailey was born in early fall, which was just in time for lazy Saturdays of football watching, trips the pumpkin patch, walks in not-too-hot temperatures and eating on restaurant patios. Baby girl, however, will be making her debut (most likely) during the early days of May, when warm temperatures are just starting to emerge and her big sister is itching to get out and enjoy it. There are some definite perks to this: germ and flu season will be over, no layering of clothes will be necessary and I have a feeling that the new season and warmth will make me feel alive, even while I’m a sleep-deprived zombie.
However, this happens to coincide with the end of Hailey’s school year. I use the term school loosely since she only goes twice a week for 3 hours, but still, it provides interaction, structure and stimulation for two mornings a week and for that, I’d be very grateful for with a new baby in my arms. I’ve looked into camps, considered a part-time mothers’ helper and even checked to see if it were possible for her to be on the swim team, but unfortunately it turns out one must actually be able to swim to be on the team. Who knew?!
Ultimately nothing has felt just right, so at this point I am looking at a summer being one-on-two with a toddler and a newborn. Part of this excites me, as I really don’t want to send Hailey anywhere. I want to enjoy all the frills of summer with her- the pool, spraygrounds, driveway play, strawberry patches… the list goes on. However, I worry about my ability to keep up while keeping baby girl cool enough and respecting her need for sleep. Plus, newborns eat quite often, no? Add this to the list of things I’ve seem to have forgotten.
I’ve broken the news to myself that I’m not the first woman ever to have two young children at once and I know that somehow we will figure it out, but at this point I am a bit worried about how to balance it. I don’t want to cheat Hailey out of summer fun, but also don’t want to cheat baby girl out of the tender love and care she needs early on.
I’ve had a few friends with toddlers have new babies recently and, honestly, they make it look so easy. If not easy, at least very doable. I do know that typically newborns sleep a lot, which might make it reasonable to think I can bring her along to all out outings without too much difficulty. And with breastfeeding, I don’t even have to remember to pack snacks! I’ve had this ideal vision of Hailey running through the sprinklers while a tiny baby girl sleeps away, curled up on my chest. It’s a picture I’m holding on to tightly until reality ultimately comes to mock me and my idealism.
However, I’m curious how other moms handle it…
If you have a toddler in school or MMO program, what do you plan on doing this summer?
If you have two young ones, how do you balance it while respecting the age difference?
Elizabeth @ My Neon Running Shoes says
I am in this exact predicament! Due end of May, Noah’s school let’s out in early May. Both of my sil had babies last year at the beginning of summer and just brought them along to all the family outdoor get togethers (in Houston…) They did fine honestly. I know it’s stressful but as long as you aren’t crazy about stuff I think baby girl will do just fine 🙂
Jessica says
I’m also due at the end of May! I am just planning on using the ergo, nursing in public, and hoping that the fresh air will help our new daughter sleep. 🙂
Dale says
My son was born when my daughter was 2 years old (and 3 days). She was not enrolled in school or anything. It was early October which, where we live, is when you want to be outside all the time! I found that we just kind of found our groove as we went. You’re right, newborns are actually pretty easy to tote along with you. And you’ll probably find that with #2 you aren’t as regimented with being home for naptimes, etc. as you were with Hailey. My best advice is to go with the flow and find what works for you guys. Don’t put pressure on yourself (Hailey has many more summers ahead of her…it’s okay if this one’s not jam packed with activity every moment! And chances are she’ll love just hanging out and “taking care” of baby too!)
Brittany Dixon says
You bring up a great point– I really do think H will get a kick out of helping take care of the baby! That will really ease my mind. Thanks for your input!
Karen says
Doing daycare for 18 years , I have seen every single parent go through the doubts you are when they are also expecting there second child.
I promise, you will figure it all out. It will just happen, believe me. Simply because it has to happen.
Enjoy the moments you have one on one with Hailey now. Don’t look at them as they are coming to an end, because moments you will all have together(mom, Hailey and baby) will be just as special.
Brittany Dixon says
Love your insight Karen, thank you! I especially love that you mentioned not looking at the moments with just H as coming to an end. I’ve read a few other blogs about that and it really pulls at my heart strings, so focusing on the fun new memories to come gets me excited. <3
Erica says
I’ll come volunteer to be your mothers helper! 🙂 Me and the Fat cat.
Brittany Dixon says
Wonderful! When do you arrive?? 😉
Heather @ What Does She Do All Day? says
I had Pumpkin when Cupcake was 2 and was not yet in school. We just went with the flow. Cupcake was a big helper. Getting a diaper for me. Throwing things away. She liked to snuggle up with me while Pumpkin nursed, often times bringing a book. You’ll definitely want to babywear so you can get out and about with your adventurous one and the little one can snooze then.
Cupcake went to school this year just before Pumpkin turned 1 and it was nice to at least guarantee that one nap would occur at home. Now that she’s dropped the morning nap it’s been our one on one time. Cupcake will go to a summer recreation program at a local park a few days a week for 3 hours so Pumpkin and I will still have that one on one time. And I get my one on one time with Cupcake in the afternoon while Pumpkin naps.
Lee says
Daycare? That’s year round. You might find one that could take her part-time?
Lauren says
I have four kids, and, to me, the hardest part is mixing ages. I find myself wanting to do something like going for a bike ride or taking the kids to the movie, but the little one makes it hard. You will find a balance, but it may take a little while. And keep in mind that it is so much fun with an extra one around!!!:). You will do great!
John J. says
Karen sure nailed it, didn’t she. You will do wonderfully because it will be what it is and you will continue to be the great Mom that you are! See you tomorrow!
Katie says
I only have one, but am due with #2 in September so am curious to see what people have to say! My first was born in June, during the hottest summer in Iowa on record, so I planned this one to NOT be born in the summer 🙂 It was doable, but you are right – I was constantly freaked out that she was going to overheat. But now you have me worried about flu season 😉 It’s always something. You will find a groove and do just great!
Brittany Dixon says
Congrats! September is a wonderful month to have a baby. And no worries, by time the real germs come around, your baby will be bigger and stronger. I never had to worry too much about H and germs 🙂
Katrina says
Karen nailed it (thank you for mind-reading Karen lol).
Fortunately, babies are portable. When you do need to be grounded at home, there are adventures to be had at home too! Outside, there are countless wonders and inside, adventures are easily created (blanket-fort anyone?!)
You will do fantastically, and the learning-curve will be in such a precious time… you’ve got this Girlie! 😉
Brittany Dixon says
I can’t believe I haven’t yet shared the wonders of blanket fort with H yet- thank you for the reminder!! Love those things 🙂
Jessie says
I was happy that I had Lydia in November because I knew we’d be spending lots of time inside anyway. Our routine now is still based on Lyric’s schedule though. Lydia usually has her second nap on the go and it will probably be this way for a while. I never sent Lyric anywhere for preschool, however I’m looking into it for this fall. But to be perfectly honest, being pregnant w/a toddler was much, much harder than it has been with two kids. I’m more relaxed and feel like “I got this.” Yes, some days they take turns being mad at me but such is life! You’ll get the hang of it quickly, I promise.
Heather H says
I’m in the same boat as you – due in 2 weeks with #2 and will have my 2 1/2 year old daughter at home with me for the year. I am trying to remind myself that babies are MUCH more portable than toddlers (in some ways) and I hope we can still get a lot of fun activities in this summer. The breastfeeding definitely helps and we are also going to be making a lot of use of the Ergo carrier. I’m also just trying to remember that some days will be better than others 🙂
Brittany Dixon says
Due in only two weeks?? Exciting!! Please report back with all your tips and tricks- I’d love to hear ’em! Good luck 🙂
Lindsay@Fuel My Family says
My oldest was In a preschool program for a short time before we homeschooled and honestly it was more of a pain to get everyone up and ready and rushed out the door to get there. Then the break was only like 2-3 hours so not even enough time to go home and nap or get anything done. Now that we homeschool and I am at home with 3, 5 yrs 2 yrs and 4 weeks, its so much nicer just being able to take our time in the morning and not have a concrete agenda. So I would say no preschool is a blessing.
Ali says
I don’t have two kids yet, but since Aiden is just a year, I remember the early days still. We were able to take him with us for several months and he would nap in the car or on me, so I think you’ll be fine doing that! Newborns are totally transportable still. It’s when they reach like 5 months that it becomes harder (at least for me). You could also look into a mother’s day out program.
Erin says
I found that life with a newborn was 100x easier the second time around. I was so much more relaxed and confident in my mothering abilities. I also felt like I wasted a lot less time figuring things out. They sleep so much those first few months and unlike life with the first I was much more apt to just go with the flow; I worried less about schedules or making sure the baby was home for naps. For the most part baby #2 was just sort of an accessory as we did things with our older child and catered to his needs and schedule. It really made me wonder how I ever thought life with one was tough.
So my advice is not to stress about it. You will do just fine.
christina says
You will be fine! I bet Hailey will be more help than you realize!
jenn says
I agree with everyone else, try not to stress about it and just go with the flow. I have 3 under 4 and the baby just goes with the flow 🙂 Naps are usually in the stroller or carseat. I take the swing outside and he sits on the porch while we play. Or naps and I bring the monitor outside. I haven’t been able to baby wear as much with him because I find its easier if he is in the stroller if I need to make a mad dash after his brother or sister. You will do great and it’s the best thing ever to watch them together! You only thought it was fun with Hailey! Yes some days are a complete struggle but when they play together its great.Cant wait for your next adventure to start!
Brittany Dixon says
I’ll bet 3 under 4 is sometimes chaotic, but how much fun to have them all so close! Thanks for the insight 🙂
Heather says
My almost 2 year old is in day care, so admittedly, that made it much easier for me in the first few weeks with our newborn because my son went to day care while I stayed home with baby girl. I actually wish that my daughter had been born in the spring rather than the fall because this winter hasn’t always been easy with my son cooped up inside. He gets bored fast, but most of this winter it was too cold to play outside. I’m really looking forward to when we can sit outside while my son runs around and my daughter and I can lay on a blanket watching him. Or to just go on walks will be grand! Hooray for no layers! I did find that a newborn the second time around has been much easier than the first time, though. She’s so easy in comparison to a toddler! I do understand the worry about so little one-on-one time with the new baby, though. My husband is great about letting me spend extra time with our daughter while he does rowdy play with our son on weekends, and I’ve come to be thankful for those quiet late night/early morning feedings.
Jenny says
Last summer G was just turning 2 and D was 6 Mis. I was fortunate to have D in Dec because by summer he was able to be outside without me worrying too much about sunscreen, and his schedule was pretty predictable so I just sort of went with it. It will be a challenge with a newborn and a toddler but you will figure it out. This year I am sending G to day camp at the Y for 2 weeks every month (MWF) just like his school schedule, mainly because I know the stimulation and consistent routine will be good for him, I know your local Y offers a 2 day a week program for 2 yr olds as well and the cost for members is pretty reasonable. Even if you don’t send her a whole lot it may be nice to do it a few times for both her sake and yours and baby girls.
Jen says
I can’t believe I didn’t even know how lucky I was to have Wyatt in November. I’m already worried about baby girl getting burnt — no sunscreen for 6mos, what?! — and overheating in the Ergo. I have the same concerns you do, too! I actually enrolled Wyatt at the “camp” at his preschool for 4 weeks this summer. I’m also hoping to use the gym childcare often and hoping that grandparents will want to make lots of visits during the summer months!
Sabrina says
I had Ali in April, so I was on maternity leave for the first half of the summer. It was the best summer of my life. Here are my tips:
1. Learn to very comfortably nurse in public. Also learn to nurse while babywearing. it’s a bit confusing but once you figure it out, it’s awesome.
2. Just let the baby tag along to everything! Ali came to the splash pond with us and stayed asleep on the side in the stroller and later in the day I wore her. At the beach she stayed under the umbrella or in her bassinet stroller (as an aside, she LOVED the beach air and always took nice naps there). The playground was easiest bc I nursed on a bench and then she slept in the stroller or hung out in the carrier.
My daily routine was to get out immediately after breakfast and stay out until Raffi’s nap. I’d pack a lunch although sometimes we’d go home for lunch. I always woke Ali up to nurse her during Raffi’s lunch and then I’d put them both down for a nap at 1. Ali would nap in the swing and R in his crib like normal. In the afternoon we’d head to the playground or park and I would nurse her as needed. Also, in general the best tip someone gave me was to get everything ready the night before. So every night I had my bag packed, Raffi’s milk cup poured, my pump ready to go for the 5 AM pump session, my workout clothes laid out, the kids’ outfits selected, the beach stuff packed in the cart, etc.
On days when it was just too hot we’d still go out but I’d have an indoor air conditioned activity to follow or I’d bring my little battery-operated fan for her. She was fine most days though.
Good luck and enjoy it. We made the best memories last summer.
Brittany Dixon says
You make it sound like so much fun and I really love the tip about having everything ready the night before. I’ll bet gathering everything is the most stressful part! And heck yes to nursing in public. I have a feeling any form of modesty I have left will fly out the window this summer 🙂 Thanks Sabrina!
Sarah (shu) says
Sabrina above is amazing 🙂 I am less so but it has still been doable – however I am using preschool and a nanny to help so it may not even be a fair comparison (and honestly I stil don’t find it easy at times!).
Agree about the portability – I don’t really think about c’s sleep
Schedule at all yet, and breastfeeding makes feeding on the go pretty easy (I have no shame.). However – if you have the ability, a mothers helper for a few hrs a few times a week might be great, since you’d be there with her, no reason to stress and you could start w a 1-week trial to see how things went, nap permitting I’m going to write a more “nuts and bolts” post about how it’s going today … We will see 🙂
Anni says
I’m wondering about this too! With my twins being under 2 and baby #3 due in 3 short weeks I’m trying to make some plans. We’re members at the Y so I’m thinking I can drop baby off at child watch while the twins and I pop into the gymnastics center for free time or hit up the pool. I was just thinking that they needed to invent a waterproof baby carrier so that I could wear the baby while I chase the other two through sprinklers and wade around in the baby pool! I’m also investing in a good nursing cover because this poor baby is going to have to be portable and nurse on the go! I’m thinking I should order leashes for the older two. just kidding! Let me know what you come up with!
Maria says
Remember that to have a fantastic summer day, for Hailey that could be as simple as a backyard pool to splash around in and a rock box while you sit in the shade with the little one. I know you probably wish she could enjoy every single summer activity there is, but the little things are what kids remember and enjoy the most. I don’t remember our trips to the zoo, but I do remember sitting on the front porch of my grandma’s house as a wee one and catching lightening bugs while slurping on a Popsicle. The little stuff you do with Hailey will count!
Oh and you’ll be fine! Will be one of the most memorable summers yet!
Katie Harding says
I’m due with baby number 3 in August, and both of my older boys will be home all summer so I’m most nervous about entertaining them while I’m my biggest and most uncomfortable! I’m also due right before school starts so luckily I’ll have all three kids at home for a few weeks too…eek!! We’ll both make the best of it right?
lauren says
I bet Hailey will be such a big help! And remember, kids are pretty content doing almost anything.
That said..it might be nice to get a young-ish neighborhood girl to come over as a mother’s helper a few times a week at first. Depending on her age, she could be an awesome future babysitter 🙂 I know a lot of people like older babysitters, but I remember hearing them talk about how great the younger ones are with kids on The Art of Simple podcast. They have no problem getting right on the floor with kids!
Brittany Dixon says
I’m a big fan of younger babysitters! I think they play more and are less likely to be glued to a phone. Great suggestion!
Marci says
things like this keep me up at night. don’t forget about the dog! I worry about what to do with the big kid when you are feeding the baby for up to an hour?
jodi says
You got a lot of great feedback already so I am sure anything I would say is what was said already. But You know I like to add my two sense!! 😉 First of all, May is a perfect time to have a baby, not too hot, not too cold, you will be so much more mobile initially which will be great for everyone!!
Here’s my thoughts (some I probably have already given you…)
1) Baby wearing!!! I definitely wore Emmy wayyyyyyy more than Avery due to personality differences (A squirmed too much) and also bc that was my way of still doing plenty of things with A while Emmy napped, but was still getting QT with me that she needed. My Moby was my best friend, then the Ergo. I could even have A sitting on my lap coloring, while Emmy was snuggled up in the Moby. I would even put my Moby on before we left that way I just hopped out of the car and was ready to go. w/o putting it on in a parking lot… Then we when we did go out side when it was a little warmer I would just apply water to her head if I was worried she was getting warm and she never seemed to be bothered at all.
2)Every month (sometimes week) is a new transition. Just when you have something working, someone will change their nap schedule/eating habits/sleep schedule. Just go with the flow. Otherwise you will drive yourself crazy.
3)Don’t beat yourself up AT ALL when you feel like H is not getting enough fun/play/interactive time. She won’t remember it, she will enjoy an extra TV show from time to time. She will not join a gang when she is 15 and blame it on her baby sister and the first year of life with her… trust me. 😉
(I totally beat myself up wayyyyy too much. Plus, Emmy was a January baby , so getting out of the house was non existent for the first couple months and I felt TERRIBLE bc of it…looking back, she was fine! I was the one who was a mess! )
4)Reach out for help. If you feel like you need more H time, Baby Dixon time or Me time, reach out to friends, family, David. I definitely didn’t do this enough and wished I did. Hard to ask for help, but always worth it!!!
5)Maybe see how the first month or so goes, but consider a mother’s helper scheduled once or twice a week for a couple hours so you can spend time with Hailey doing something special. SOmething as simple as a trip to the library, target, Panera to color and have lunch… they will seem so special bc it is just the two of you. (another thing I wished I had thought of….)
I know you will do great, probably put the rest of us to shame!! Ha ha! I think you mentioned that your friends make it look easy, but I think we all struggle everyday to make it work as best we can! (even if they look put together, you should have seen them struggle to get their kids out the door, see their laundry piles, messy kitchen… ) Its what it is for everyone, even if they seem they have their acts together!! ha ha! Thankfully I never look like i have my act together, so my cover is never blown!! 😉
Ashley says
We just went through this transition – my youngest is two months and my oldest is 2 years. I found I was a lot more relaxed with my newborn this time around and she seemed so easy! With the ergo and the convenience of breastfeeding you will be able to meet the vast majority of her needs while you are out and about. Our rhythm has been we get out of the house once per day, before of after my oldest’s nap, and then we also have some down time at home. You will do great!!
Stacy Kruse says
I think you will do just fine, there is a lot of great advice above, and I don’t have two yet so I can’t make any specific comments, but what about organizing some fun activities at home so you can have the best of both worlds. You seem to have an amazing yard and deck so I think you’d have a good space!
You could plant bean seeds and watch them grow
Maybe baby sis can give Hailey a bubble machine
Simple art activities outdoors
Splash and Sand table
Playdates with friends
I’m sure theres a lot more, but like many others have said, newborns are very easy going and portable. Just keep her covered or in the shade and you should be good to go!
Ab @Sugar & Spice says
My second was born in June and when my oldest was not quite 2. I think it’s great having a summer newborn… less sickness to worry about and no need to bundle everyone up to get outside. Lots of easy opportunities for older sibling to get exercise and stimulation!
I remember a lot of sitting in the shade holding baby (my second was one of those who would only sleep while being held in the first few months) while my oldest played outside. And as everyone has said, nursing in public lots! Hooter Hiders nursing covers are great– maybe you already have one. They are light and not too hot for baby, and it’s easy to see the baby latching which can be so tricky in the newborn days. We even took a beach vacation when #2 was 6 weeks old and with a big enough umbrella you can easily keep her out of the sun. We just kept our visits short and came in and out of AC buildings nearby. Nursing in a bathing suit… that’s another story!!!
Also I think you kind of trade off… today oldest needs some stimulation so we’ll get out, and tomorrow we’ll stay home so baby can get a nap in her own bed etc. It’s great for kids to learn to “wait their turn” and having a sibling definitely forces them into that! It’s not always easy but so valuable for both kiddos. And I’m sure you’ve already got a good routine going and kids thrive on that.
I spent the first week crying and mourning the loss of my baby-relationship with my oldest child (thank you postpartum hormones)! But looking back it is the best best best thing for her to have a sibling (now she has two) and like I say there are so many valuable lessons to learn. At 5 now, she is so mature and helpful, and I attribute a lot of that to the lessons she has learned from taking care of baby sisters and being Mama’s helper. I’m sure Hailey will do the same! So try not to cry Mama!! (although it is nearly impossible not to 🙂
Kate says
My daughters are 22 months apart and prior to my second daughter’s birth I worked full-time outside the home and my then-only daughter was in daycare 5 days a week. When my second was born last August, I kept my older home with the baby and I Mondays and Fridays, and she went to daycare Tuesday-Thursday. This was an awesome arrangement. On Mondays and Fridays we would do fun outings, like going to the zoo or apple picking, and Tuesdays-Thursdays my older daughter would go to daycare while the baby and I had some one-on-one bonding time. We have an awesome daycare and I wanted to keep my oldest somewhat in a routine. I ended up deciding to go part-time when i went back to work and both girls are now in daycare 4 days a week and on Fridays I am off (or sometimes working from home for a few hours). It can be challenging and exhausting to manage them both at once but I am glad to have the extra time with them!
Jennifer says
I have a 2.5 yr old boy and. 2 month old baby girl. The great thing about newborns is that they sleep a lot and are portable. Yes it takes a little more effort and time to get out of the house but Myself and my toddler are much happier when we have an activity planned during the day. In the early weeks when you are exhausted and wanting to just sit on the couch my friends having my toddler over for play dates were a god send. You can always return the favor later
Kate @ Indulgent Wellness says
My Hailey is 2.75 and her little sis Audrey is 5 weeks so we are thick in the middle of this adjustment. I’m going to sign Hailey up for a couple enrichment programs through our parks & rec dept for this summer. The programs keep a similar schedule to preschool so it gives her some structured activity and me some time one on one with the baby.
Morgan says
My 2 are 20 months apart. My son was born last August. Honestly, you don’t have time to think about how to juggle things, you just do it. My daughter wanted to go outside and play so I loaded the baby into the bjorn and out we went. If the baby needed to nurse and my older one wanted to be pushed on the swing, i literally nursed the baby standing up and pushed the swing at the same time while in a public place. I even pushed a double stroller while holding the baby and nursing simultaneously. It wasn’t easy, but I didn’t have time to think about how hard it was, either. you’ll figure it out!!
Cindy says
I’m more or less dealing with this right now! I have a 2 yo and a 4 month old and we just moved to a new state so lost all my toddlers activities (mmo, music class, etc) and it’s not super easy – the spring weather is helping. I would say that the first few months are easier with the baby in the sense that they are very portable (though do need frequent feeds). So you might just be good until she starts school again! I’m just now at 4 months encountering the competing interests, where a better day for the toddler is out and about and a better day for baby is home with crib naps on his schedule. We’re muddling through though and you’ll find your rhythm too!
Elizabeth says
Like you said, you’ll figure all of this put with time! Don’t put too much pressure on yourself & enjoy it!! There are parts of my day that I’m just trying to survive ( jealousy when nursing, dinner time, managing 2 crying little ones, etc) & other parts that I am loving (sibling love, 2 happy little ones, family time)!
Christy says
Life with a newborn is definitely MUCH easier the second time around. I am so less worried about schedules and every other little thing. The only problem I’ve encountered with having kids 18 months apart is that my older daughter (she turned two last week) still wants/needs to be held sometimes, especially when we are outside. She also still needs some help at the park, pool, and other places…just not quite independent yet. I usually carry my younger daughter in the bjorn bc the stroller upsets her reflux-y tummy, so it gets hard to manage all the lifting. My advice to you is to take it slow and don’t rush to do a thousand activities with both girls. Just cherish the snuggly time at home for a bit. Get used to the demands and needs of two. Don’t exhaust yourself for no reason. 🙂 There will be time for the adventures later! I usually try and have a babysitter come a few times a week so I can spend one on one time with each girl. Good luck!!
Susan @ Real Life Travels says
I had LT in June and Caden turned 2 years old. The reality is that you’ll probably have a mellow summer. I really didn’t get to enjoy it all that much because well, the first month I was trying to heal and get settled and the 2 and 3 she was just still really little. Sure it’s easy to bring them along which is really nice but I really wasn’t able to take Caden to the park alone yet. Maybe because he still was really young but I found that they eat and sleep constantly and it was just easier being home. I forgot how much they eat! But honestly don’t think of it as Haliey missing out on summer you can still do plenty of fun things but it just may turn into a more mellow, chill summer rather than go go go everyday. Either way it will be a summer you all will never forget!
Verna says
I have 3, all 21 months apart. My 3rd was a summer baby (July). We took advantage of the early days when he slept a lot and did errands or play dates. When he got a little bigger and needed to spend more time napping in his bed we played in the yard. We had a kiddie pool and mine loved it. Walks down the road were popular too. 😉
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