Second kids are so different from firstborns in countless ways. I’m convinced this is at least in small part due to how we parent them differently. With Hailey I was so on top of everything. When do you start solids? How do you potty train? What age do you switch them into a big kid bed? I was constantly searching for the right answer. By the time baby #2 arrived, I’d realized the universal truth that should be at the beginning of every parenting book: there is no single right answer.
Though one might think this would sound intimidating (then what do I do?!), I found it incredibly freeing. Just go with the flow. Kids will eventually eat food. They will one day be out of diapers. Etc. Sure, I’m all about facilitating and encouraging, but I’m not down with any forcing.
For more toddler talk, visit my toddler page!
Because of this laid back mindset, Kaitlyn’s transitions have been fairly relaxed. Shoot, she didn’t wean until 27 months old. Potty training is coming along quite nicely too, with not much credit to me. She is just interested and doing it. Yes, we clap and jump around like fools when she succeeds, but she’s leading the way. I’ve liked the idea of letting her take the lead so recently when she began to battle being in her crib in a sincere way, I took note.
She started screaming her head off when we put her in for naps and night. She’d shout OUT OUT OUT!! The only reason she didn’t climb out herself (she’s totally capable) is that I would raise my eyebrows, wince, and say “oh wow, that’s sure going to give you a big boo boo!” Bad parenting? I don’t think so.
Still her persistent resistance led David to try a little freedom at nap time while I was away on my girls weekend.
A mattress on the floor and letting her stay out of her crib. She was really proud of her newfound freedom. She would stay fairly quiet, playing by herself, for about 45 minutes – 1 hour. Pretty good, but she wouldn’t actually fall asleep. Still, she loved being out and would scream at night when she went back in her crib.
So, finally, I told David we could do it- start the transition.
Wednesday night David took out the conversion kit. Kaitlyn was ecstatic. Big girl bed!
Hailey was talking it up and it appeared that all systems were go.
Hailey gave Kaitlyn one of her “big girl pillows” to solidify the transition and insisted on tucking her in. Nothing but giggles and smiles.
She wanted to close the door herself so there was one last “I uv ew!” as she closed the door behind me. Immediately I pulled up the camera monitor and watched her climb into bed. My heart felt that all-too-familiar since of pride, overwhelming love, and a hint of sadness that my baby was getting bigger.
Then, I heard sniffles. Followed by a few whines.
Hm.
Nothing major, so I decided to leave it alone.
However 10 minutes later there was no mistaking it- full on tears, shrieks, and Mamaaaaaaaaas!
I rushed in to find her shaking and crying saying “cwib cwib cwib”
With that, David was back up in her room within 30 seconds turning the bed back into a crib while she rocked on my lap repeatedly telling me “I wike cwib. I no wike bi gur beh.”
And that’s how the transition to the big girl bed didn’t go. I won’t lie, this mama’s heart thinks it’s just fine.
Let them be little.
I’m in no rush my sweet girl.
SHU says
awwwww! Personally I am never in ANY rush to leave the crib (and a good sleep routine) behind. Cameron still LOVES his crib at 2.5. I will keep him in until he’s 3 and a half if he is happy! He CAN climb out, but — for whatever reason — generally doesn’t. I think he feels safe in there 🙂 Annabel was also in the crib until 3ish.
If it ain’t broke . . .
PS: Your girls are the best sleepers of any kids I know! So I say don’t rock the happy boat!
Brittany Dixon says
Oh I’m SO with you. I had zero desire to leave the crib behind and if it wasn’t for her nightly bedtime screams, I wouldn’t have even tried. I think, just like you said, she felt exposed/scared without her crib. Further proof that kids actually appreciate boundaries 😉 #criblifeforever
heather @Fitncookies says
Aww!! Did she stop screaming at naps and bedtime since she likes her crib now? That has to be scary for such a change!
Brittany Dixon says
Well we played right through nap yesterday (scheduling fail!), but last night she made about 30 seconds of a whining sound before going to sleep so I call that a win 😉
Jessica says
Oh sweet girl. I love that she knows what she likes and doesn’t like. And way to be flexible with it. You guys are awesome!
Jeannie says
Awesome story..I love how David got the crib back so fast. My son will b 3 early January and I’m keeping him in the crib forever!!
Brittany Dixon says
#criblifeisthebestlife I love the crib too!! 🙂
sherry says
This post was so sweet. The pictures of Hailey tucking her in made me smile. We will keep the crib set up 🙂
Karen says
Being an in home daycare provider for over 20 years I had to chuckle at this post.
If I could get every mom to understand that if you just go with the flow and all children will do all those big milestones when they are darn good and ready, life would be so much more enjoyable for all of them.
Second time moms are my favorite…..they have learned patience by now, have learn to not sweat the small stuff, and to just roll with what life brings.
We, as moms, can only do what we can do…..our children will do the rest….eventually.
Good Job Brittany….nice post.
Chantal says
I totally feel you on the second child thing. I am waaay more relaxed with him than I was with the first. Like, he’ll survive. Now we’re having a third and that one will just survive somehow haha
melissa says
i love this post. so sweet. my daughter is 26 months and with a second on the way we started asking ourselves when should we should transition her. i love the “go with the flow” approach. and so sweet of David to change it back right away. you are awesome parents.
Brittany Dixon says
Congrats on the one of the way- such an exciting time! We transitioned Hailey a couple months before Kaitlyn was born to a new room with a big girl bed and really talked it up. It went so smoothly! Best of luck for when you decide to make the transition 🙂
John J. says
Awww, that was a tug at your heart blog about Kaitlyn. What a gal! And Hailey’s generous and big sister pillow gift and tuck in was so cute. Fun time, ay Mom!
Kate says
This is really interesting to me because in typical first-time-mom-fashion I have been thinking about when to transition to the big bed. My son is 20 months old and so far has shown only little interest in trying to climb out of his crib.
I’m comfortable with following his lead (this has worked great with BLW and weaning and pretty much everything else), but I also think I need to get my stuff together and start researching big bed options because his crib doesn’t transition…
Thanks for sharing this episode – that’s what makes your blog so worthwhile, your honesty and your sincere way of sharing what you learn with your two girls.
Have a great weekend!
Brittany Dixon says
Thanks for the kind words Kate! We transitioned Hailey around 2 1/2 and it worked so well- it was a new room with a big girl bed and she was psyched. I would have kept her in the crib forever though if we didn’t need it. I love the security of knowing they are tucked safely away in bed 🙂 Good luck whenever you decide to transition!
Heather says
We are going through a similar issue with giving up the pacifier. It is the only comfort object my daughter REALLY has taken too unfortunately, and we are trying to only use them at sleep times and in the car. This has resulted in a morning full of tears and fighting to get dressed. She is only 19 months so I am letting her have it a little longer in the morning and it seems to be helping with the tears. I know the pacifier break up is a huge thing, but I think it is one transition we can wait a little longer on. Thanks for another great post!
Brittany Dixon says
If it makes you feel better, Hailey had her pacifier until she was 3 1/2!! //hangs head in shame//
It was for night and nap only but she was SO attached to it. However, once we decided it was time, she really didn’t have much issue with getting rid of it. Don’t feel bad if you want to wait until she is a little older and can understand and believe in the paciFairy 😉
Liz says
That’s so good to hear!! I am really hopeful that it’ll be easy when our son is older and can be bribed with a toy or something to give his binkies to a new baby (or whatever story we go with!).
Liz says
We are in the same boat with the pacifier! My son is 22 months and is full-on obsessed with his “mink” (what he calls the binky). We’ve tried having a binky drawer, limiting it to just the crib and car, etc, but my sanity just can’t handle the screaming. He’s our second, so I’m trying to remind myself that he won’t have his pacifier forever. It’s hard not to want to rush certain things though! I’m trying to just let him be little, for now. And hopefully once his 2 year molars come in we can start really making an effort to ditch the binky once and for all.
Cristina -thebatchmaker says
Goodness!!!! Her talk! I was saying it outloud and gushing, I cant wait for my baby to talk in cute baby talk! Such a sweet moment, def #letthembelittle and thanks for once again being so genuine!!!!
Brittany Dixon says
I go a little nuts with the video camera trying to capture all the little words she says. It really is the CUTEST thing ever. You’ll completely gush over it when your little one gets there- it’s the best! 🙂
Lauren @ Oh Hey! I Like That! says
Oh sweet girl! Take your time! Stay little!
Lissy says
Awwwww!
My LO never slept in his crib. He woke up and cried whenever we put him in it. He naps in a toddler chair and sleeps on a mattress on the floor. One day we will have to transition him to his own room though.mi think he’ll be fine, but I’ll be a mess
Brittany Dixon says
Aw, that’s so cute!! And yes, I totally understand the idea that mom is more of a mess and the kids are fine- haha 😉