I talk a lot with friends about what our kids are (or are not) eating. It usually starts off the same way. A friend will tell me she is so stressed because her child is a terrible eater. Like really, terrible, she says. I always inquire to what that means and the answer always surprises me.
I wait for her to list off that her child is only eating M&M’s, McDonald’s French fries and chugging Dr. Pepper, but instead I hear, well they will only eat broccoli and apples. Seriously, no other vegetables or fruit!
Huh?
…did I miss something?
Broccoli and apples are pretty wonderful, healthy foods, right?
I think as loving parents it’s easy for us to get caught up in wanting our child to eat ALL the healthy things. I know I do. And sometimes I fear I am contributing to the scenario by posting Hailey’s meals like this:
Though no part of this meal is contrived, Hailey really does eat and enjoy this for dinner, but we have days (plenty of them) where meals aren’t so fancy. When this happens, I find myself falling into the same parental trap.
Take yesterday for example…
Yesterday was a hectic day and Hailey’s meals were as follows:
Breakfast: Blueberry Banana Walnut Hot Oats with Chia Seeds.
Snack (at school): Multigrain Cheerios
Lunch: Sliced Apple and a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich
Snack: Lightly Salted Almonds
Dinner: Leftover Whole Foods Pizza, Applesauce and a small sliced Tomato.
By the time I was cutting her pizza into bites I was really picking on myself. She didn’t have ONE thing green all day long. In fact, she didn’t even eat a vegetable at all (tomato is a fruit, right?). And apples and applesauce on the same day? Way to vary her fruit, mom. I was really giving myself a hard time for being too busy and slacking on an area very important to me, her nutrition.
Then I realized how ridiculous I was being.
If anyone else would have listed off this day of meals to me, I would have noticed the following…
Oatmeal with no garbage fillers PLUS chia seeds? Wow.
Almonds for snack? Great healthy fats!
A quick dinner that wasn’t snagged from a fast food joint? Way to go, mom, I know that can be challenging!
But because I am tougher on myself (almost always unnecessarily so), I was feeling guilty. Ridiculous. It was so silly, in fact, that it made me want to chat with y’all about it. How often to we pick on what our kids don’t eat versus focusing on what they do eat?
Hailey may not eat raw leafy greens, but the child chows down on roasted butternut squash.
Hailey detests cucumbers it seems, but will happily crunch down on a carrot.
I’m all for staying consistent with offering new foods to expand their horizons, but to the moms that children just can not stand XYZ, stop being so hard on yourself. You are amazing. I know this because anyone that cares enough to think about the foods they are feeding their kids is certainly doing a stellar job, so keep it up!
Do you consider your kids to be picky eaters?
What foods do your kids hate?
What foods can you always count on them eating?
emma @ be mom strong says
My 2 year old is starting to get taste buds AKA not wanting everything. She loves pizza so I try to disguise different foods as pizza shapes!
Only offering her healthy foods at home though keeps her healthy. But, I let her be a “normal” kid at parties so we don’t develop the whole preacher’s daughter and she goes off and devours a whole bag of KitKats when I’m not in sight!
Brittany Dixon says
I agree! I always get funny look when people see Hailey dive into cake at parties or if I take her out for ice cream. It makes me think I am not doing the best job at portraying my food philosophy. I am all about healthy foods at home and the majority of the time, but I’m not wanting to create the preacher’s daughter syndrome either!
Yuliya says
Ugh, I do the same thing all the time! What my son eats is honestly the most stressful part of parenting for me. I can deal with a full on temper tantrum in the middle of a store, but if he doesn’t want to eat broccoli or like you say, doesn’t get anything green, I can feel my blood pressure sky rocket. I know that I generally do a good job of varying his foods and getting a diversity of veg in there, but it’s really hard not to be so difficult on myself. It’s really nice to know that there are others out there like me. Your post was definitely encouraging 😉
To answer your questions – no my son isn’t terribly picky, but he has his moments.
He loathes raw greens.
He will always devour and request seconds if I make sweet potatoes. If he finds the bananas, he will try to eat all of them in one go.
Jen says
Interesting points! My little one will be six months tomorrow and starting solid foods next week, so this topic is definitely on my mind. I go to a mom group and the lactation consultant that runs it said something interesting: Our babies have been eating the exact same thing, day in, day out, and when we start introducing foods we get all obsessed about them eating a huge variety, when in fact they don’t know that variety exists–they’ve eaten literally the exact same thing hundreds of times in a row. I know when they’re older variety is key to good health, but it made me realize that right now it’s okay if I give her bananas and then wait a week or two before I try avocados, and there’s no need for me to have her eating every single thing in the world by the time she’s one.
And i think you’re doing a GREAT job, for the record. I hope my little biscuit eats as well as Hailey when she’s three!
Brittany Dixon says
We are starting solids with Kaitlyn in two weeks too and I am SO excited! I’ll be writing about it here so I hope you share, too. It’s so helpful to hear what other moms are experiencing and learning.
Kristin says
I’ve been picking on myself for the same thing since baby #2 was born 5 weeks ago. Time is short right now and its hard for me not feeding my hubby, myself, and my 2 year old as nutritiously as I’d like!
Brittany Dixon says
Congratulations!! And I hope you are cutting yourself a little slack 😉 We spent a little more on food those first few weeks because I was buying foods that were already prepped or picking up decent options and it added up, but it was for such a short amount of time and didn’t appear to do any long term damage ;). I am sure you are doing a great job!
Brynn says
Such a great post. We are so hard on ourselves and expect perfection. But when you look at your daughter’s eats as a whole, she’s eating such nutrient dense foods and seems to be healthy and happy. Sometimes we need to give ourselves a break!
Katie Harding says
The hardest part for me is that I have one picky eater and one who will eat anything. My older son LOVES sushi while my little one detests it. I guess I cook more for the little one just to keep it easy. As long as I can get everyone to try one bite of something then I feel like I’m winning. 🙂
Tiffany says
This post is very timely for me as I was talking to my daughter’s preschool teacher because she apparently refused to eat yesterday unless her teacher FED HER mac n cheese. I was lamenting about how she’s a picky eater, etc and the teacher said, no, she’s really not bad at all. I see lots of kids who are WAY WAY worse and she’s really pretty good. Oh. Maybe time to stop beating myself up over what I could have done to not have a “picky eater.” Anyway, yes, I totally relate and need to give myself some slack!
Jodi says
It’s funny, I always worry I am not doing a good job. And I prob let them snack more than I should, don’t offer enough good variety, etc… But then I thought about Avery’s food intake yesterday (and actually wrote it down) and was like, damn, it’s not that bad?!?!? Obviously some days are wore than others and somedays I feel likea rockstar, but overall I think we do need to cut ourselves some slack. In the era of blogging, Pinterest, fb, etc… It’s so easy to get negatively caught up in how we parent instead of focusing on the good we do. And try to use the media in a positive way such as learning new recipes, not beating ourselves up bc our kids don’t eat leafy greens…
Here’s Avery (3.5 yo) food yesterday since I don’t blog:
Defrosted homemade banana and mini chocolate chip whole wheat pancakes w pure maple syrup and side of banana and strawberries
Cheeze it’s at pre- school (yay:/)
Tuna sandwich, cheese stick, organic carrot sticks and a couple mini pretzel sticks, organic applesauce pouch
Half organic kids cliff bar
Watermelon
Offered pepper slices, cucumber and carrots and simply ranch dressing while making dinner ( none eaten)
Two homemade chicken nuggets, few bites organic steamed broccoli, few bites rice
Ashley @ My Food N Fitness Diaries says
Thanks for this! I’ve totally been there where I beat myself up for Hunter not eating how I would ideally like him to eat. But I know deep down he’s a toddler and I need to catch us both a break. It isn’t an excuse to let him eat cookies for every meal, but I need to think about all the stuff he DOES eat well and be grateful.
Tim says
Setting your kids up for a life of disordered eating, like yourself. Get a grip. They see the selfies in the mirror, the self doubt, and the disordered eating.
Julie @ RunninginaSkirt says
Don’t be too hard on yourself! I think this a great idea and post and feel like we all should go a little easier on each other!
Laura @FitMamaLove says
I’ve definitely noticed people saying the same thing! As long as your kid enjoys some healthy foods, that’s great–even if it’s the same thing over and over. You can build up from there, but it takes time. Even though my kids are pretty good eaters, they definitely have their few preferred fruits and veggies that they would eat all the time if I let them. They also didn’t start out liking everything that they eat right away, but I kept offering and now they eat a more varied diet.
Allison says
I really, really, really needed to hear/read this today. Thank you so much for helping to keep things in perspective. Why is it so easy to dwell on the short comings and not on the positives??
Marnie @ SuperSmartMama says
My husband and I have this conversation all too often. And then we go to a birthday party and see what other kids are eating / not eating and we realize it could be worse.
I guess I just get freaked out because *I* was the worst eater until my mid-twenties. I would not touch a vegetable for the life of me, and my mother would always complain that there *was* a time when I would eat broccoli. I guess that must have occured before I turned five.
But you’re right, we do what we can as parents, offer a well rounded variety of options, and then let our kids take it from there. After all, we don’t want to encourage eating disorders before they even hit puberty, right?!
Lindsay Ingalls says
I go with the trust their instincts approach and really don’t stress about what Edith eats. I offer her a range of healthy items during the day and at meal time she is asked to try everything on her plate just one bite (with a 2 year old sometimes this is easier said than done). She has her days where she has incredibly healthy, balanced meals and gobbles it all up and other days she picks and only eats a bit. I also try not to stress out about what I am serving up like last night I was on my own, running late and tired so it was an orange, hummus, breadstick and cherry tomato kind of night. Overall E isn’t picky. I guess I’m just lucky?
Brendali says
I wish. You want to hear a terrible eater? My son. He used to love corn, sweet potatoes, apple sauce, pineapple, broccoli, rice, beans etc.
Now?
He lives off carrot sticks, chicken breast, pasta and Pirates Booty 🙁
Tara | Treble in the Kitchen says
Good post! I nanny a 6 year old and find myself falling into the same trap. It’s important to know we are doing the best we can 🙂
lauren says
I try not to worry about it, at least not on a daily basis. Overall, my 15mo eats a wide variety of foods. Of course, if I let him he’d live on crackers, watermelon and peas. Some days are better than others, but most of the time, he’ll eat anything I give him, especially if he’s hungry…but then we’ll go somewhere and the kid I tell people eats anything just picks at a piece of bread.
His breakfasts are the most repetitive, usually some sort of frozen or homemade waffle/pancake or toast with butter/nut butter/yogurt on top and fruit. Sometimes he’ll eat eggs or oatmeal, but those don’t always go over well and I prefer to start the day off positive.
Monica says
Oh, my gosh! I really needed this post today! I’ve been really down on myself because my daughter has gotten so picky. She used to eat anything pureed back in the day, but since moving to solid foods, old staples like sweet potatoes, broccoli, cauliflower, or avocado are flat-out refused! I have to remind myself that she loves cucumbers, green beans, apples, bananas, black olives, any kind of fruit, really… She still won’t touch a bean or tofu, but she loves cheese… All I can do is my best, right? Thanks for the boost!
Sabrina says
You’re really hard on yourself, when in fact your daughter eats a much larger variety than my kids.
I’m glad you caught yourself because you’re doing a bad@ss job.
My kids eat plenty of fruits and vegetables, beans and grains. however, R won’t eat meat and despises combo foods unless it’s pizza. He’s never touched a bite of food, and prefers his meals to be plain. I don’t mind for now, but I keep serving him a little of everything so eventually he’ll realize just how tasty some foods are.
Paulina says
Do you consider your kids to be picky eaters? I think my kid is a pretty good eater overall. She has started preferring carbs over anything else, but I do to. Our way to get around that is to just time our dinner so that the protein and veggies are served while the biscuits or whatever are still baking.
What foods do your kids hate? This can change weekly. And it usually has more to do with her mood than her actually not liking a food. Most recently, it was lasagna, but when she saw her baby sister eating it up, suddenly she wanted some too 🙂
What foods can you always count on them eating? A pb&j sandwich with a small bowl of frozen peas (still frozen). She would eat this every day if we allowed it!
chelsey @ clean eating chelsey says
Love this post. I am super hard on myself about what the girls eat – especially because they are picky as all get out. I’m feeding them whole fresh foods though, so their tastes will expand in time I am sure! I need to be easier on myself!
Kimberly @ Healthy Strides says
I am seriously impressed that Hailey ate those things. I could only hope for Miles to eat that way! I asked for 5 extra minutes of sleep this morning and he managed to get in the pantry and eat three packs of fruit snacks while I snoozed. He is a 3-year-old ninja, I swear.
I try not to worry to much and only use the comparison trap to make me feel better. He eats well at daycare, I offer him home-cooked food as often as possible and he doesn’t eat nuggets every day. He probably eats more sugar than he should but not as much as he wants. And he eats. I’ll be happy with that.
Joanna @Makingmine says
Great post! I have the same guilt about my daughter eating much the same foods on a rotation – yes, they are healthy, but I feel like variety is ideal. I realize it’s a little silly at times, and all I can do is keep introducing her to new foods and allowing her to eat what she likes
Joanna @Makingmine says
Great post! I have the same guilt about feeding my daughter – she eats healthy, but there isn’t much variety. I know I should keep trying new foods and cut myself some slack along the way 🙂
Kristen @ The Concrete Runner says
Perfect timing for you to post this, as I just posted about my 3 year old’s bad eating habits. Believe me, Haley eats like a champ! My daughter is truly picky, and while we try to limit sweets and “unhealthy” things, it is really difficult when I just want her to eat! With a daughter who is underweight (not even close to being on the charts), eating becomes a priority over how healthy the food is. Cereal is a daily breakfast, though sometimes she does get a smoothie, but many times we don’t have time. She’ll eat carrots occasionally at the babysitter’s and maybe an apple or banana with us, but it is pulling teeth. I have to keep in mind that she is only 3 and that habits take time. We reward her with candy or a cookie when she eats what we give her, because, like I said, eating is more of a priority for us right now than anything else.
Heather says
Really good post – I think moms are often way too hard on themselves. I have what I consider to be a picky eater because more often then not we do really struggle to get him to eat what we’re having. Part of the problem we’ve realized are too many snacks (even if they are healthier like dried fruit and veggies they’re taking the place of his meals). I consider it a victory if I can get him to eat at least one veggie and fruit a day. More than that and I feel pretty darn good. 😉 I can usually count on my son to eat apples, bananas, strawberries and pears. As far as veggies go, I can often get him to eat green beans and broccoli and peas. It’s hit or miss as far as meat goes, sure he’ll eat organic chicken nuggets and fish sticks, but I really try and limit those. I know eventually he’ll get better, so I just keep offering.
Gena @ Life FuelFilled says
This is such a great post! You do such a great job giving your daughter a great variety of foods.
My son had a major texture issues when he was young. He never would eat any baby food – he literally only ate cheese and crackers until he was about 18 months old – it was so emotionally hard. We had to supplement his food with formula. He would go to daycare and his teachers would be so distraught because he would only eat goldfish all day at snack time. Over time, he has added more food to his diet – but even at age six he won’t eat noodles, potatoes, peanut butter. I just learned to accept his differences and learned how to make healthy versions at home of what he would eat so I knew he wasn’t eating foods full of preservatives and food dies.
It taught me a lot of lessons on being a mom and I’ve just kept my focus on making sure he and my daughter have a healthy relationship with food. Thanks for the great post!
Danica @ It's Progression says
I think that this not only applies to our kids but also to ourselves! I will have a day now and then where I just didn’t eat “great” or by my usual “standards,” but that’s just one day anyway. So yes, I agree, I think we can be too hard on ourselves. I think it’s good to remember that it’s about what we eat most of the time (not some of the time) that matters in the long run.
Kate @KateMovingForward says
Love this! It’s so easy to be hard on ourselves. Layla’s favorite “real” food is bread–at least it’s 100% whole wheat. 😀
Carleen says
This was nice to read. I have been reminding myself to think this was lately. My 2 year old has been really picky thre last couple weeks. I just remind myself that at least it is mostly healthy, even if she’ll only eat one thing at a meal. Last night for dinner she basically ate a pomegranate and a token bite of the carrot and sweet potato. Today I know she will eat the water chestnuts and baby corn In the stir fry but everything else is wait and see, even though she generally likes everything else in it.
Brittany @ Delights and Delectables says
I’m so thankful you posted this. I make Baby D’s baby food, and I get really hard on myself for not varying it up more and making different foods. It is so easy to be hard on yourself instead of realizing what a GREAT job you are doing!
Bob says
I think you really need to be careful about this line of thinking. My mother didn’t restrict our eating at all (four kids) and as adults we are among the healthiest eaters I know. Most importantly we don’t have bad habits like soda bc she didn’t restrict it. And we have absolutely no sweet tooth. I like a nice dessert now and then but it’s not something I have to worry about or control. Making too big of a deal about food around your kids can have serious repercussions in the future. I see so many of my peers with really bad habits or cravings that they have to control, and then I find out their parents restricted sweets for special occasions, etc and it doesn’t surprise me at all. They’re kids. They’ll be fine. You’re doing your best and that’s all you can hope for. They are going to want chicken fingers sometimes. Don’t forget adults have things they don’t like either. We all do. If someone put capers on my plate every day I would refuse them!
Sarah says
I’m so glad you posted this. I’ve been doing just that lately with my youngest (24months). He is picky, but when I list all he DOES eat, it is a long varied list. And over the period of 7 days, he gets all his nutrients, compared to on a day to day basis… We need to stop doing this to ourselves and worrying so much about it.
Sally @ Real Mom Nutrition says
Bravo! Such an important point to focus on the positives in terms of what our kids are eating. Perfect can be the enemy of the good–and this is a great reminder to me to be as kind to myself as I would be talking to a friend about what her kids had for dinner!