I miss the days of blogging about baby-led weaning meals for 8 month olds and favorite freezer foods for babies. Watching Kaitlyn keep up with the big kids on the tennis court yesterday was yet another reminder that the baby days are behind me. Luckily we’ve entered into a new phase that is never dull, full of funny thoughts and crazy antics, that keeps my hands full and my heart happy. Now I have two energetic preschoolers that are growing and thriving, despite their very different eating styles.
I wanted to share a few meals we’ve had lately and discuss how my kids differ in their eating preferences. I think many people assume I have had two adventurous eaters from the start. While that may ring true with Hailey, Kaitlyn has required more consistency and patience. Let’s take a look!
Hailey (age 5 1/2)
Favorite Food: She’ll now answer with mac ‘n cheese even though I don’t really think that’s true. She will much more enthusiastically eat popcorn, shrimp, roasted sweet potato, and egg and avocado on toast but I think her friends say mac ‘n cheese so she does too.
Challenges: I’ll be honest, there aren’t many. She eats anything I put in front of her, usually without question. Even the kale microgreens in the above picture.
Successes: The magic phrase with Hailey has always been “if you don’t like it, you don’t have to eat it.” I have a firm policy on not saying “ew” or “gross” about food, so if it is something she isn’t thrilled about, she knows she can just leave it alone.
Also, introducing a wide variety of foods and combinations from the start has worked well for her. She gets excited about trying new foods and her story about eating octopus is still one of her favorite tales to tell.
Kaitlyn (age 2 1/2 — almost 3)
Favorite Food: Yogurt. Almost hands down on this one, but she really loves roasted sweet potatoes too.
Challenges: Hm, where to start? Ha. I feel the biggest challenge with Kaitlyn and eating is keeping her focused. She honestly just does not care that much about food in general. She is almost 3 and I still have to help focus her attention at meal time by sitting with her and sometimes helping her take bites. She often wants to get up mid-meal to dance or sing songs.
She also is prone to liking one thing on her plate over everything else. Hailey saves what she likes best for last (on her own). Kaitlyn gobbles down the cut fruit or green beans and asks for more of that one food without touching anything else, knowing that I rarely waver on my policy of at least trying (and sometimes eating all of) what is on her plate before receiving more of a certain food (we start with small amount of all portions).
She’s not a big meat eater. I don’t know if it’s texture or what, but it’s always the last thing she reaches for. I’m not against pulling out ketchup to help in this arena.
Successes: Consistency. Man, this hasn’t always been easy but it’s certainly why she’s even a little bit of a good eater. I’ve found having 2 kids, the second definitely benefits from relaxed rules, but I’ve stuck to my guns about limited snacking (if she has a snack in the afternoon, she’ll eat 2 bites of dinner) and not being a short order cook. The whole family eats the same thing and usually at the same time (not always, but usually).
Overall I will say my kids are both pretty good eaters. Hailey perhaps mostly by luck, but Kaitlyn certainly because of strategy.
I think using the baby-led weaning approach to introducing solids was a big part in their foundation for good eating habits because it helped familiarize them with different textures and flavors early on, as well as had us all eating the same thing so David and I could lead by example.
I haven’t touched on it in a while, but it’s because I’ve been behind the scenes working my tail off on updating and revising my book: A Mom’s Practical Guide to Baby Led Weaning. It’s basically all my experience and research crammed into a compact guide to help others navigate through the exciting, but sometimes intimidating, world of feeding babies.
I would love for you to check it out if you are or know someone that is having a baby. I wholeheartedly believe good eaters are created by starting early and staying consistent. All kids are different and have their own strengths and challenges, mine certainly do, but I’m grateful that overall food and mealtime is not a big issue in our house.
You can browse through all my kid-eating posts by clicking here!
I know eating habits are a hot button topic. Trust me, we have faced our own eating challenges (and honestly staying seated at the table for an entire meal is still something we are working on), but I hope that hearing how other moms run meal time in their house proves helpful. So I’d love if you’d join in on the conversation…
What rules have you instilled that help meal time run smoothly in your house?
What challenges do you face when feeding your kids?
If you have more than 1 child, how do their eating habits differ?
Michaela says
So interesting to read! Currently expecting my first and already excited for the BLW journey 🙂
One thing I don’t quite get is why people are so concerned if their kids don’t eat/don’t like meat. I became a vegetarian when I was 12 because I didn’t like it and turned out just fine. I really don’t think children need meat to thrive if they eat an otherwise healthy diet.
Brittany Dixon says
Congratulations on your baby on the way! So exciting!
Ah, yes, I know what you mean about meat. I was a vegetarian for 5 years too so I know meat isn’t essential. In our house though we do eat an omnivore diet so I’m already making meat and since protein is super important for kids, it’s just easier to have us all eat the same thing. We eat plenty of vegetarian meals too (most all breakfasts and lunches) and she does love ham, but it’s just nice to have her eat the hamburger of burger night too 😉
Michaela says
Thank you! Yes, it’s very exciting 🙂
I totally get what you mean regarding you just wanting everyone to eat the same meal.
montessoriishmom says
This is so interesting! We started BLW a little over a month ago and are loving it. It’s funny though, my little guy will eat like a madman for about 15 minutes and then be decidedly done, straining to get out of his seat. I was talking to a friend yesterday who said her daughter takes over an hour for breakfast – I think it’s so interesting how eating styles / preferences seem to be somewhat innate! I definitely agree that there’s a lot you can do to help your child along with their natural style though. Such a helpful post!
Heather @Lunging Through Life says
I did BLW and i credit that for how well she does with silverware and eating in general. However, she’s gone through this picky phase now and won’t always eat what we put in front of her. And veggies have gone out the window. While I do feel guilty she isn’t getting in a lot of veggies and such, i remind myself I didn’t like them when i was younger. She loves dairy but we’ve cut down due to some pooping issues, ugh poor thing, and at 37 weeks, I just don’t feel like fighting her some days! haha I need to get better at making her eat everything we eat (meat is the hardest to get her to eat!). Dipping also works very well for many thingS!
Brittany Dixon says
Some days I’m too tired to fight anything too and I’m not even pregnant! 😉
Even Hailey, my miracle eater, has gone through phases with food. I think it’s a power thing, so I just never changed my attitude and served as usual and she’s always come back around.
Heather Warner says
I have learned a lot from your previous post about kids and eating (and your book!), and I thank you for that. My daughter has always been selective when it comes to food. From the very beginning, she was not one to grab anything I put in front of her – she could take it or leave it.
We definitely follow your rule of, “if you don’t like it you don’t have to eat it.” We usually add on the one bite rule too. I always make sure there is one thing on her plate she will eat – more so to get her to sit down and begin the meal than making sure something is in her belly. I am a firm believer in not being a short order cook and one of the things I am most looking forward to once I become a SAHM is not having to always rely on leftover or quick meals for dinner with her. I want her to be involved with cooking her food if she wants to be. Just like growing your own food, you are that much more invested in eating your hard work – at least this is my dream!
Question for ya – we don’t do desserts for meals, but consider them an occasional treat. At family functions or friends parties, there are always sweets and my daughter only wants the cookie/cupcake and ignores her other food. I don’t want to go down the path of, “you have to eat x,y,z to have the sweet”, but I also don’t want her to just eat junk. Have you run into this issue and how do you handle it?
Brittany Dixon says
Hi Heather, thanks for your kind words on my posts and the book! <3
As for your question, the second I heard "you have to eat your pizza before you have a piece of cake" come out of my mouth I cracked up laughing and wondered what I was trying to accomplish. When we face those situations, I am pretty easy going. Usually she will eat food first because it is served first, but if it's a free for all and she wants the cake first, I let her go for it. She knows she is allowed one piece, so whenever she wants to eat it is fine for me. She's eaten the cake first and gone back for regular food because she was still hungry.
Larissa says
I’ve really tried to serve the same thing (with slight kid modifications of course if something is spicy or hard to eat) to my 21 month old so that he sees my husband and I trying different foods and enjoying them. Sometimes it’s a hit and sometimes a miss but hopefully in the long run it’ll pay off! I’ve learned a lot from your baby/toddler food posts, thank you!
Brittany Dixon says
I’m so glad my posts have been helpful; that means so much to me!
Jennifer says
I have 2 kids – almost 5 year old boy and 20 month year old girl. My little girl is a much better eater than my son already. I think this is because we were in a better routine when she came around so eating at the table and the whole family eating the same meal was more natural. She is a champ in my book – although far from perfect! 🙂
My son is a constant battle and I need to do better with giving them both a bigger variety of foods. But I only cook 1 meal for the whole family. So sometimes my son ends up eating his 1 small portion of the main dish (usually meat) and then eats the sides – I always provide enough healthy sides to make it a good meal.
I agree with no snacking too! The more snacks the less they will eat at meal time. My children’s doctor told me once that a hungry child will eat regardless so make sure they are hungry for meal time – and it helps a lot for sure!
Bethany says
I remember grabbing your book right when we started baby led weaning with my son. I loved how quick it was to read, how easy it was to relate to and how you made it not overwhelming. Because, lets be honest, who has time to read novels about baby eating when they have a 6 month old?! I’m due for our second baby in just a few weeks and will be excited to dust it off come Thanksgiving this year!
Also – loving your toddler meal posts. My son is similar to Kaitlin in the eating department. Meal time is either super easy or a lot of work. Everyday is different though.
Brittany Dixon says
Thank you so much for the book feedback! I really appreciate it and am so glad it was helpful <3
And a huge congrats on your second baby arriving soon!! Such an exciting time!
erin says
Pre-kids I swore my kids would never be picky eaters. I love all types of food and will try just about anything. Then I actually had kids:) My kids aren’t terrible eaters, but could be better, especially with eating vegetables. My boys (5 and 7.5) are quite different and opposite; I gave them trail mix on a road trip, one kid only ate the dried fruit while the other only ate the nuts. Same goes for dinner. My older son loves meat, especially steak and it’s often hard to get him to eat vegetables. The younger one will try most veggies and usually picks around his plate to avoid the meat.
I agree though that consistency, exposure and the “this is the only dinner you’re getting” stance is key. Even if I know they will likely reject something I still put it on their plate and ask them to try. They also know I am not making them something else. A few weeks ago we grilled hot dogs and my older son told me “I don’t really like hot dogs, but I will eat it because this is dinner and it’s what you made:)”
Brittany Dixon says
Haha, wasn’t it fun to make all those strong statements before kids 😉 I did the same!
How sweet of your son to be able to verbalize his understanding too. I love when they are so sweet unexpectedly!
Nadia says
This is a consistent battle with my daughter (she is now 9)! She is picky about food, but her favorite foods are healthy, so I try not to stress too much over it. My son, on the other hand, eats anything and everything. He is also very open to trying new things. I used to blame myself when my daughter was being difficult about food, but my son is proof that it can’t be all my fault!
Taryn says
My kids are different in their eating styles as well. My older one (5 1/2) will pretty much eat anything. He just knows he needs the food to fuel him. He went through a rough patch around 3, but we worked through it. My younger one (3 1/2) has always been tougher. She gravitates towards yogurt, fruit, and bread-type carbs (pancakes, muffins). But we have stayed consistent with her, and she’s come around. She definitely still tends towards certain food, but we work hard at keeping variety in her diet.
A few things that have helped:
1) Gardening has been a HUGE thing in our house! Our kids now eat all.the.veggies. It’s amazing!
2) Variety – I try and buy 1 new thing each week to keep them guessing. Lately we’ve tried pita pockets, individual hummus containers, and shredded carrots (which my son thought was mind-blowing when I added this to his pita pockets). And I bought the Naked juice in bulk at Costco, which was a hit.
3) Not always buying their favorite food. My daughter could survive on yogurt alone. So I don’t always buy it. She usually complains, but then we work through what a good replacement would be (she eats this for breakfast most mornings).
4) Talking to them about WHY we need certain foods. They now eat a piece of steak or burger and immediately flex so we can feel their muscles 🙂
5) Including them in meal decisions. I try and ask what their favorite meals are and add that to the dinner rotation. When I am making my son’s lunches for the week, he helps me decide what goes in there. When grocery shopping I’ll ask my daughter “do you want broccoli or green beans this week?” I truly believe it empowers them.
Great post!
Brittany Dixon says
Taryn, I love your comment and wish it could be an entire blog post itself! What great tips you shared, thank you. I especially love the idea of 1 new thing a week. I have somewhat fallen out of that habit and am excited that our CSA will help force that back into our routine. Thanks for all the great advice, as I also believe empowering the kids with choices (when appropriate) is hugely important.
Taryn says
Thanks, Brittany! You inspired me to write a blog post dedicated to this topic – it’s scheduled to go up on my blog on Monday. Thanks again for the kind words!
Brittany Dixon says
Oh awesome, I’ll have to check it out!
Ali says
For us, timing is the big issue. Our guy (2.5) will eat anything at everything at breakfast, pick at lunch, and most often refuse dinner. It’s definitely not a question of food preferences (we’ve tried ‘breakfast for dinner’ with no luck) – I think it’s just his own personal food rhythm. We sit down for meals together and don’t pressure to eat, but he really only very rarely will eat anything for supper. On the other hand, he’ll polish off two adult-sized portions of oatmeal with blueberries, flax and hemp for breakfast.
Brittany Dixon says
Isn’t that funny! I think it’s pretty awesome though that you aren’t stressing and just realize it’s his natural rhythm. His breakfast does sound delicious though 🙂
Lindsay @ Hot Mess, Cool Day says
My daughter has always been a bit picky, and it’s been a struggle to get her to finish her dinner, but she’s definitely getting better at 3.5 years old. Her younger brother is 2 and he loves to eat – he doesn’t have much he doesn’t like, and will usually eat his whole plate without much prompting. Sometimes he even has 2nd’s and 3rd’s!
Whitney says
My policy is similar to yours, Brittany: Small amounts of food on plate, try bites of each, if you don’t like it you don’t HAVE to eat it, no snacking, no short-order cooking, sit at the table, no devices at the table.
I think the hardest part about meals for my almost 3 year old son (only child, first grandchild) is other adults! Because he is currently the first and only child in our family he gets A LOT of special treatment. I am constantly having to gently (and not so gently) remind people that if my son doesn’t like what’s on his plate **it is okay** and we don’t need to ask him over and over what he wants instead.
I also started trying to “set the mood” for meal times with music and the occasional candle. It started out as more for me because sometimes getting my kid to the table can be challenging and the music and candle light help relax me and provide a transition into mealtime. Now, my son really likes having the music!
Brittany Dixon says
I absolutely love the idea of setting the dinnertime mood! My dad always lit candles growing up and had music on in the background. Good memories. Thank you for mentioning that because I might just have to start doing that too 🙂
Heather says
I’m just going to say it – mealtime is my least favorite time. I think part of the problem is that we sometimes lack consistency in our house… my husband and I have different views on what is acceptable at mealtime and it’s something we struggle with. I do try to encourage our kids to try at least everything on their plate – they don’t have to eat what they don’t like, but they aren’t allowed to say “Ew” or “Yucky.” Our kids can be very different when it comes to food, but our daughter will often follow her brother’s lead so we don’t sit them next to each other. She’s much more likely to try new foods if she doesn’t see her brother ignoring them or pushing them around his plate. 😉 The other problem we have is snacking. I try to limit snacks, but my husband will snack all the time and therefore the kids also want to snack… not really sure how to nip this bad habit in the bud, though.
Laura says
We did baby led weaning with my daughter (5yo) and she is a great eater. I would say the only food she doesn’t like is onions. She is allowed to pick them out if they are raw (such as in a salad) but we ask that she try to eat them if they have been cooked. She also does what Hailey does and saves her favourite element of the meal for last. Our biggest challenge with her is that she tends to take FOREVER to finish her food if she doesn’t really care for something, but she’s getting there.
My son, on the other hand, is 8 months old and we are just starting with BLW with him. The only thing he seems to like is fruit. He doesn’t seem to be super interested in food yet.
Brittany Dixon says
Oh my goodness, I feel you on long meals. Ours take foreverrrrr. Hailey actually can eat fairly fast, but Kaitlyn is like pulling teeth to get her to focus. Haha. Always an adventure, right? Have fun with your second BLW journey!!
Jen says
I have to say, I have not been good enough about sticking to my guns with our little one. She just turned 3 on Sunday, and she’s our only one, and we’re totally guilty of giving her other foods if she won’t eat what’s on her plate. I cringe typing that out, but it’s true. I have read a lot of Ellyn Satter’s research, and follow the rule that I pick what foods go on her plate and when to feed them to her, but she gets to pick whether or not she’ll eat them and how much of them she’ll eat. I do encourage her to smell or even lick new foods, and we’ve had some progress with that. I am having a moment right now, just reading your post, and realizing that we’d make more progress if we gave her what we gave her (including things we know she likes, of course) and didn’t give in and give her other choices. Parenting is so hard!
Brittany Dixon says
Parenting is hard- amen! I have slipped off my rules plenty of times too, especially on days when I’m just exhausted. You aren’t alone! I do just try to get back on track ASAP because otherwise it’s so much harder to get back on track later. I love Ellyn Satter’s guidance too- so helpful!
Katie @ Live Half Full says
I got lucky with my son too and we loved BLW. Our biggest struggle these days is his appetite is so all over the place. Some days he eats and ton and some days he barely eats! I guess that’s just toddler life though.
Brittany Dixon says
Definitely! Kaitlyn will do the same. For a few days she’ll eat everything in sight, then, nada. Crazy kids. 😉
Irene says
I have a 5year old son, 3 year old daughter , and 6 month old son that just started blw. My son sounds like Hailey he is a great eater and even when given something new he at least tries it. He loves his salads and won’t even have candy, cake, juice ECT because he says they have sugar and that doesn’t make him big and strong. Our daughter on the other hand has always been petite and a fire cracker. I struggle with her because even though I was always fed them the same thing she hates everything. And when she does eat she wants to get up and sing and dance and stuff. Although she does love her meat that gurl will eat any protein meat you put in front of her it’s everything else u struggle with. School.lunches are the worse. Here is to hoping baby boy takes after big brother.
Brittany Dixon says
Your third will be the tie-breaker, haha! Our kids do sound similar, especially the spunky second borns 😉 Keep fighting the good fight and at least we can enjoy a lot of song and dance shows, right?!
Kerry says
This sounds exactly like my girls! They are 4.5 and 14 months and my first will eat anything and everything (even if she says she doesn’t like it at first glance!) but my second feels trickier already!
Brittany Dixon says
They both can’t just get on the same page and make it easy for us, can they?! 😉
Stephanie says
Your insight into feeding and mealtimes is soooo great…thank you. My 10-month-old will eat anything and everything, but we’re going through a challenging phase of her wanting more independence when she’s eating something that requires a spoon. This is great, of course, but messy! I’m still committed to the variety though.
Brittany Dixon says
Oh yes that phase is so messy! One of my favorite pictures of Kaitlyn though is when she ate yogurt herself with a spoon. She is COVERED but looks so proud. Embrace that mess and hooray for summer on the horizon when babes can eat in just a diaper outside 😉
jodie flicek says
Sawyer seems a lot like Kaitlyn in that he eats the “best part” first and then wants more of that without touching the other items. He is a texture kid, so things I know he likes the taste of, he wont eat if they feel a certain way. Like you, I just serve him a small portion and its up to him to eat it. I dont have rules with food except I want him to be sitting down while he is eating.
Bethany says
My LO is 13 months and is a great eater! He loves meat….even liver! I’m trying to get all the nutrition in him now before he starts having more of an opinion. Ive just really tried to introduce a wide range of flavors to him from the start. We also eat together 95% of the time.
Now we are working on introducing a spoon.
Kristin says
This is great information, and I can relate to a lot of the points – i.e. “no short-order cooking”. I did want to comment regarding the snack issue — It really depends on the individual child, so saying that snacking is to be avoided may be confusing for some. My oldest child is 7 and has always loved food like her mama. She is in school from 8am-3pm with sports after and is famished by the time she gets home. If she requests a snack, I will always let her have one because she is so active and needs the energy. But then again, she is a great eater and will end up eating a good dinner as well. However, my almost 4 year old is very different — he is not as concerned about eating and I have to keep his focus most meals (even help give him bites of food) to make sure he’s eating enough before he leaves the table. And he’s the one I have to be mindful of with snacking as he won’t eat as much at dinner if there’s a big snack or treat beforehand. There’s no rule book that works for all kids, that’s for sure! Thanks for the tips.
Dale says
Great post! I’d love to know what kind of yogurt you buy for your girls. I always get so overwhelmed trying to find one that’s low in sugar but not full of artificial junk!
Else says
We’re 2 months into baby led weaning with our 8 month old and he is eating like a champ. He eats more than his 3 year old brother most meals. There are many meals where we have to spoon feed the 3 year old to get him to eat anything, while the baby feeds himself! I don’t push it if I think he’s really not hungry, but often he’s “hangry” but just won’t eat. We can tell by his behaviour that he needs food.
We’re lucky in that the 3 year old does eat a wide range of foods but it’s impossible to know what he likes on any given day. Even if we ask him what he wants to eat he’ll refuse to eat the food when we serve it. I once put the exact same plate of pasta in front of him for 3 days in a row. Days 1 and 2 he said he hated pasta and refused to eat it. Day 3 he declared pasta was his favourite food and inhaled the bowl and asked for more. It was the same damn pasta he’d been refusing for 2 days!
Kate @ High Chair Chronicles says
Yea me 2 year old also has a hard time sitting and focusing at the dinner table. I often have to give him a little toy to fidget with and I often feed him to speed things up, because I know he only has a few minutes before he declares he’s “all done.”
And he also usually eats just one thing from his plate and then asks for more of that.. I try to strategically choose his foods: if he hasn’t had enough protein lately, I’ll put down a protein he likes and then a carb he isn’t too crazy about so that he eats the protein. If he hasn’t eaten enough veggies, I’ll give him a meat and a carb he doesn’t like that much so he eats the veggies. Ahhhh, kids.